I’ve written before about what it means to lead healthcare IT through chaos and uncertainty.  What strikes me now is how often those same themes come up in everyday conversations, no matter who I’m speaking with, regardless of where they live or what sector employs them.  Friends, colleagues, even casual acquaintances seem to carry a weight of concern.  Sometimes, even when I start with a simple “How are you?”, the response quickly turns to stories of stress, struggle, or worry.

It’s clear this isn’t just a leadership issue.  The sense of living in uncertain, turbulent times is something almost everyone feels.  It touches every part of life.  It impacts our work, our relationships, our health, and our overall sense of well-being.  It’s a universal human issue.

There’s no single formula for navigating this kind of uncertainty.  Each of us must find our own way, identify and use our own coping mechanisms.  What I’ve learned from my own experiences, articles I’ve read, and what I continue to hear from friends is that there are perspectives and strategies that can help us steady ourselves.  These lessons may not erase the chaos, but they can give us direction, help build up resistance and resilience, and even be a source of renewed strength, hope, and optimism.

First and foremost, you must acknowledge and accept the situation.  Though I’ve spent years compartmentalizing my stress, fear, and discomfort, I now know that pushing these emotions aside, often amplifies them over time.  I remind myself that I cannot control life.  Grounding me is the fact that uncertainty is unavoidable.

In times like this I reread the poem at the end of this blog, “If” written by Rudyard Kipling as a father’s advice to his son around 1895 and published in 1910.  Though never using the terms chaos and uncertainty, it offers an approach on how to deal with both.  I use this poem in a leadership class I teach to MBA students.  It speaks volumes to the characteristics leaders and followers should embrace – control, integrity, tolerance, humility, and strength of character.  It also reminds me what behaviors I should exhibit as a citizen in these uncertain times in our country’s history.  Sadly, our chaotic leadership has global consequences.

Another helpful lesson was translated and published by Max Ehrmann from an unknown author in 1927 – Desiderata: Words for Life.  The key phrase is “Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.”

The other very brief reminder of dealing with challenges is attributed to Reinhold Niebuhr who said, “God grant me the grace to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”  It is used broadly by many recovery programs and by individuals and church groups dealing with life’s challenges with one change.  The word “grace” in the sentence above was replaced with “serenity” and today it is commonly known as the Serenity Prayer.

Stop idle wishing, hoping for the impossible.  That doesn’t mean you should abandon lofty goals or pursue the improbable.  To progress, to succeed, break down large overwhelming goals and problems into smaller, manageable tasks by setting short-term realistic goals.  Incremental wins help build momentum and allow you to see and celebrate progress, not perfection.

Routines are helpful.  After a bad bike accident which made it impossible for me to get back on my street bike, I returned to routine activities such as morning exercises on a stationary bike, eating breakfast within 2 hours of waking, and walking our dog in the cooler evening weather.  My wife begins every day by journaling and taking the dog on a long walk.  Routines provide structure and predictability, returning a sense of control.

It’s also important to build and rely upon support systems.   Recently, I’ve found myself seeking out friends and family to have more in-depth conversations.  After the death of my first wife from suicide, I sought out professional help to coach me through the grieving process.  Once a skeptic, I’ve become a huge proponent of professional assistance.  Professional behavioral health counselors helped me and frequently help others deal with intense pain and uncertainty.  Many of my family and friends have benefited from these interactions and continue using life coaches on an individual basis while others have profited immensely by participating in group sessions.  Both approaches can reduce the feeling of isolation and provide useful perspectives.  Connecting with others is beneficial for all participants.

Self-reflection can also be useful.  By examining the source of chaos and uncertainty you may discover what truly matters which can inspire new directions or growth.  My bike accident and the recovery had a major impact on my attitude and behavior.  Though grateful by nature, I find my sense of appreciation for even the smallest positive allows me to divert my focus from what’s going wrong.  It helped me change my priorities and provided a sense of certainty about the future.  It restored my sense of optimism.

You can cope with chaos and uncertainty.  You can improve your resilience.  Build healthy habits including exercise, diet, and sleep.  Make and engage with social connections, reflect regularly on your values and goals, adjust them as needed, and celebrate the small wins.  Most importantly be kind – to yourself and to others.

“If”, a poem by Rudyard Kipling, circa 1895

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”;

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings – nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll have reached your full potential, my child!

The portion of the last line in italics were changes I made to ensure the poem was not gender specific.  The original ending was “…you’ll be a Man, my son!”  This poem is in the public domain.